A Peaceful Day At Pashupatinath
These days I find myself, my mind finds itself, in between the chaos.
Some day I am filled with great plans of scheduling my following days, and someday I stress about the days gone by that I had a chance to make most of but I never did.
Last night I was thinking about my lost friends. I was confused about whether I lost them or they lost me. Because neither they seem to be making effort for our friendship nor I am making any move.
The day before that I was feeling tears inside me, just because I realized I failed to keep her happy, keep her in peace, as I had promised her. Though we have already moved separate ways, I still feel there could have been more beautiful and special companionship if we had sat down calmly and appreciated each other's flaws.
I am also worried about my family and the responsibilities bound with them. I am not walking away from the responsibilities, I would never. But what if I could not pace myself and fulfill the basic of my beloved ones. I fear that.
Some day I don't find the right friend too with whom I could share what my mind is going through.
But despite all my fears, confusion, realization, and what not - I find myself at peace too. I am happy that I have flaws and I can improve them. I am proud that my family has handed me the responsibilities and so far I have not failed.
I am also hopeful that at the right time I would find my life's best friend who would make efforts for me, knowing that I have flaws too - and vice versa.
Between all this chaos, I even found some right friends who have listened to me. And I have shared too without feeling judged.
And this is not the end of this story. I know I will have more thoughts today as well, I will bear new flaws too, I will worry about my next responsibility again - but what should drive you forward is the ideology that:
'no matter what, there is always going to be something that will block your way, but you should push yourself ahead with a thought that, things will get right if you give that something a little more time...'
Last night I was thinking about my lost friends. I was confused about whether I lost them or they lost me. Because neither they seem to be making effort for our friendship nor I am making any move.
The day before that I was feeling tears inside me, just because I realized I failed to keep her happy, keep her in peace, as I had promised her. Though we have already moved separate ways, I still feel there could have been more beautiful and special companionship if we had sat down calmly and appreciated each other's flaws.
I am also worried about my family and the responsibilities bound with them. I am not walking away from the responsibilities, I would never. But what if I could not pace myself and fulfill the basic of my beloved ones. I fear that.
Some day I don't find the right friend too with whom I could share what my mind is going through.
But despite all my fears, confusion, realization, and what not - I find myself at peace too. I am happy that I have flaws and I can improve them. I am proud that my family has handed me the responsibilities and so far I have not failed.
I am also hopeful that at the right time I would find my life's best friend who would make efforts for me, knowing that I have flaws too - and vice versa.
Between all this chaos, I even found some right friends who have listened to me. And I have shared too without feeling judged.
And this is not the end of this story. I know I will have more thoughts today as well, I will bear new flaws too, I will worry about my next responsibility again - but what should drive you forward is the ideology that:
'no matter what, there is always going to be something that will block your way, but you should push yourself ahead with a thought that, things will get right if you give that something a little more time...'
- Arun / a peaceful day at Pashupatinath
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